Akatsuki Wedding Planners
by AkiraDawn
Summary: So many changes for Akatsuki! Now, they have the daunting task of planning a wedding...but not just any wedding, a platinum wedding! Perhaps they would need someone good with money...and maybe some headache medicine. Rated for language. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1 The Binder, Binder

Akatsuki Wedding Planners

I don't own Naruto any of its characters nor do I make any profit from my stories

Deidara slapped a huge binder down on the kitchen table. "Itachi, here it is. The one thing that is going to keep everything super organized for the next 7-9 months, yeah."

"I hope that's what I think it is." Itachi said sitting down at the table.

"If you think this is a binder that contains top secret information from 'the leader' then you're wrong….but if you think this is the 'Itachi and Dana's wedding planner binder' binder then….YOU'RE RIGHT, yeah. I took some of Lola's papers out of it and threw them all over her desk so I could use this binder…I'm sure she won't mind. Hidan overheard this in the background.

"Seriously, Deidara…..what did the papers say that you took out of that binder?" he asked.

"I don't know, something about client's rights and clause 28-A and other stuff that I had no idea what it meant, yeah. Anyway Itachi, it's October and it's time to start making some early plans. Marisol has a binder too, yeah!"

"Wait a minute." Hidan said now joining into this conversation. "Are you saying that you're going to start planning this wedding?"

"Yes! And not just 'we' Hidan….everyone is going to have to contribute something to this wedding, yeah. Oh my god there is nothing more exciting than wedding planning, yeah! There's the flowers, and the tables, and the food, and the music, and the dress, and the cake and the colors, and the…OH MY GOD I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF, YEAH!" Deidara said quickly flipping the binder open.

"Hey, has anyone seen Tobi in the past 45 minutes?" Kisame said obviously having been looking for Tobi.

"I gave Tobi very specific instructions to go outside and sweep the patio and then check the pool skimmers." Itachi said.

"Dude, why did you give Tobi that much responsibility?" Hidan asked.

"Well, he did so well last week separating the dark clothes from the white clothes I figured that he was ready for a bigger task." Itachi said.

"Yeah, he did do a good job with that." Kisame said heading outside to search for Tobi.

"Um, Itachi we can't start this whole planning thing, yeah! I'm totally unprepared! Give me twenty minutes…I'll be back, yeah." Before Itachi could ask any questions Deidara had rushed out the front door.

"Didn't he seem all prepared and stuff like 37 seconds ago?" Hidan asked.

"Yeah." Itachi said kind of confused. There was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it!" Tobi yelled as he came running into the living room like a maniac. There was a reason that no one else made it a habit of letting Tobi answer the door…Strange that somehow Tobi had managed to elude Kisame….

"Hi I'm Tobi! I live here, I love answering the door! Who are you? Are you here to…ooooooooooh a box! Oooooooooh another box! Hey look a rock!" The delivery man that was standing at the door ignored Tobi's lack of focus.

"I have a delivery for Lola M. Aagard."

"Hmmmm……I'm not Lola M. Aagard, I'm Tobi! Tobi!" Tobi replied holding his hands up for the boxes. The delivery person sighed.

"Can I leave these packages at this address for Lola Aagard?"

"Oh yes! Yes you can, you can give them to me…..Tobi….and Tobi will give them to Lola!" Tobi started to bounce up and down anticipating the boxes. The delivery man piled up three boxes in Tobi's arms. One was rather large and the other two were smaller. He also laid an envelope on the top. "Thank you! Come back sometime when you have something for me….Tobi!" Tobi said as the delivery man quickly slipped away. Tobi took the packages and put them on the kitchen counter, of course he couldn't resist reading the return address label: Harvard Law School 1563 Massachusetts Ave. Cambridge MA 02138.

"Oh my god! You will never believe this! Me and Dana just finished the first page of the 'Dana and Itachi's Wedding Binder' binder!" Marsiol proclaimed running down the stairs.

"And that is?" Hidan asked.

"Well, it was just the title page…but it's done now!" Marisol said. "Oooooh boxes!" Marisol said spotting the newly arrived delivery. "Harvard Law School…." Marisol thought a moment. "Hey! Lola goes to law school…or something like that. Do you think these are for her!?"

"Something tells me that they are, seriously." Hidan answered her.

"Hey, has anyone seen the ironing board?" Zetsu said in a slight panic.

"You mean it's not in the laundry room where it always is?" Itachi asked.

"No. And I have to find it in the next 5 minutes or Sasori is going to completely blow a gasket. He's about 40 seconds from throwing that stupid printer out the window and he could just completely…..oh my god where the hell is that ironing board! My life is on the line here!" Zetsu ranted.

"Why is he…." Zetsu cut Itachi off.

"This is no time for questions! I need the ironing board now!"

"Fine, come with me I think I know where it is. Itachi said calmly.

"Do you know where Deidara is?" Marisol asked anyone who would answer.

"He yelled about not being ready to plan the wedding, ran out the door like a maniac and that's all we saw of him."

"Oh, okay well tell me when he comes back. I'll be upstairs with Dana because we're getting ready to talk about hairstyles for the wedding." Marisol ran back upstairs.

"Hidan can I speak with you?" Kakuzu yelled from the top of the banister.

"You can talk to me down here. Can't you see I'm getting ready to call everyone on my Jasshin prayer tree?"

"Okay, that is exactly what we need to talk about! You were supposed to run the vacuum in this hallway and instead you're calling all your religious friends." Kakuzu scolded.

"Screw you! You aren't doing anything! You balanced your checkbook like an hour ago! I think you can handle running the vacuum in the hallway!" Hidan argued.

"No! I folded every one of your stupid t-shirts now get your ass up here and RUN THIS VACUUM!"

"Kakuzu! Do something your own damn self for once. God! You're so dependent on me for everything!" Hidan yelled at him.

"OH MY GOD! WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT THE HELL UP! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ON THE PHONE! Hi, I'm calling to confirm reservations for Wednesday through Sunday. Yes…..Yes……alright, do I need a confirmation number? Okay……okay…..I'll be taking a cab from the airport in Boston can you give me some detailed directions to the hotel that I can relay to the cab driver?" Sasroi was running frantically back and forth looking for a pen and paper. For some reason people like Deidara had taken all those things off the desk in Sasori's bedroom.

"What the hell is he doing?" Kisame asked. He had recently returned from the Tobi search.

"Who knows." Itachi said. " God! Where the hell is Deidara? He's supposed to be helping me plan MY wedding.!" Itachi was upset. He'd have to deal with it for now….


	2. Chapter 2 You What?

"YES! YES! YEEEEEEEEES! OH YEAH! OOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEAH!" Zetsu stared at Lola who had just come through the door yelling. Sasroi came down the staircase. He walked over to Lola and put his arms around her.

"You're all done honey, you're all done."

"Hell, yeah I'm done!!! I gotta call my ma'! Finally, 600 hours done! I'm gonna be a law-yuh!" Lola was very excited.

"Hey, why are we excited?" Kisame wondered returning from the mailbox.

"Because, Lola just finished her internship hours….that means she graduates!" Sasori explained.

"Aww, Lola congratulations!" Kisame was happy for her. Of course Lola's glorious moment was very interrupted…..

"Okay, okay, okay I'm back, yeah!" Deidara paid no attention to the fact that there she was wrapped up in Sasori's arms in front of the door. "Okay, Itachi…I just had to go grab some bridal magazines and there were just like so many choices that I couldn't decide, yeah. So….I bought 12." Deidar flopped the huge stack of bridal magazines on the table in the living room. They spilled out everywhere.

"Alright, Lola. Here honey these boxes came for you today. Um…why don't you check them out we have dinner reservations at O'Briens at 7:30." Sasori told her. Lola gasped.

"Oh my god! O'Briens? Are you serious? O'Briens? We can nevuh get into that place!" Lola shouted.

"Okay, Lola is very 'Connecticut' today, seriously." Hidan whispered to Zetsu. "She's just completely leaving our every single R in words today." Zetsu agreed.

"Oh my goooooooooood! Itachi look at these colors, yeah! Would you just look at these colors? Oh, pick this! Please, please, please, please, yeah? Pick these!" Deidara begged.

"Hmmmm….I don't know…it's a bit…pastel." Itachi said.

"Okay, Itachi I need to not get sidetracked. We need to start from the beginning. We need a budget, yeah!"

"Twenty-seven dollars! You can plan a wedding on twenty-seven dollars!" Kakuzu insisted deciding it was his time to join the wedding planning process.

"You can not plan a wedding on twenty seven dollars Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled at him.

"Yes, you can! Twenty seven dollars is a good number!"

"Oh just go to hell! God, you're such a fucking dumbass! Just leave no one wants you to do anything anyway because you're such a tight ass!" Hidan yelled again.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I want to do the invitations! Can I do the invitations? Can I?" Tobi begged.

"Uh…..sure yeah whatever." Itachi answered not completely certain of what Tobi had just asked. "Deidara! Focus, come on you're supposed to be helping me! Now come on, shut Kakuzu up quit trying to pick out colors and let's decide on a fucking budget…..now your dad's loaded right?"

"Yeah." Deidara answered still having his head buried in one of the bridal magazines.

"Deidara, look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"Okay…budget….hmmmmmm…." Deidara thought for a long time. This was tough. But suddenly the number came to him…. "Forty-seven thousand dollars, yeah!"

"Hmmmm…..yeah okay." Itachi agreed. "Okay write that down," Itachi said.

"Oh my god, Itachi look! Personalized napkins, yeah!" Deidar said.

"Deidara write down that damn budget number NOW!" Itachi demanded.

"Oh, okay." Deidara scribbled that number down. "Okay, now…..registry. Let's pick out nice places, yeah! You know not places like Walgreens. Now if it were my wedding, I would choose Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, Macys, Saks Fifth Avenue, Williams Sonoma, H&M, Bombay, and The Cheesecake Factory, yeah." Itachi thought about Deidara's suggestions.

"Do you think we could add Ethan Allen to that list. Maybe me and Dana can register for that sweet sectional sofa and your mom and dad will get that for us." Itachi said.

"Done!" Deidara said enthusiastically.

"Oh my god! Are you planning!? Guess what, me and Dana thought it would be really nice to pre select a guest list!" Marisol said beaming into the room.

"Good god yes screen the guest list! The last time the guest list wasn't screened for an event Konan and Pein ended up getting together." Itachi groaned. Sasori laughed in the background.

"The only reason that happened was because you left them in a poorly lit room. Now I warned you…but noooooo. No one listens to Sasori."

"You pushed her on his lap!" Zetsu added.

"She asked for it. She wouldn't climb up there herself." Sasori said smiling all over. Zetsu turned around.

"Oh my god! Did you open that wine? Did you open that bottle tonight?" Zetsu demanded.

"I might have." Sasori said drinking the already poured wine from the beautiful Waterford wine goblets.

"No, no….no, no, no,no this night will not end peacefully….Lola just finished her internship hours today. You know good and well no one can control your actions after you've had too much of that stuff!" Zetsu scolded.

"Oh, I beg to differ….Lola knows what to do." Sasori winked.

"I hate it when you do that! See, I have no comeback at all because that one is much too good!"

"Hey! Is this suitcase ready to go?" Lola yelled from upstairs.

"Yeah, it's ready." Sasori yelled back.

"Ready? Ready for what? What's going on, yeah? Why do you have a suitcase? Oh my god are you leaving me?" Deidara's voice was getting all high and squeaky as he dropped his pen and ran over to Sasori in the kitchen.

"Since you or anyone else has paid attention to anything that has happened this week in Lola's life…or mine…I'll fill you in. Harvard Law School graduation is this Saturday. Lola is doing the commencement speech because you know….she's better than pretty much anyone else. So, we're going to Massachusetts for a few days. We'll be back on Sunday." Sasori explained.

"Why didn't you tell me that Lola was graduating, yeah? I would have gotten her a paperweight or something." Deidara asked still panicking a little.

"The question is why you don't pay attention to a fucking thing that the woman I love does……" There was a dramatic pause. Deidara gasped and there was a chain reaction of gasps from Hidan, Zetsu, Kisame, and Itachi…..Kakuzu had been passed out cold on the floor ever since he heard the price of the wedding budget. Hidan took advantage of the situation and wrote 'I steal from piggy banks' on Kakuzu's forehead with a permanent marker. "Oh….my…..god….I did NOT think that last part did I?" Sasori said nervously. Deidara was still staring, mouth agape at Sasori.

"I thought you were just in it for the money, yeah. That and I don't know I thought maybe she was better in bed than what she looked, yeah."

"Okay, so THAT'S what it sounds like out loud….not in my head….oh my god…um….yeah for those of you who uh….haven't heard the news yet….um…I uh….I love Lola…yeah…..but she uh…kind of doesn't know that yet…..um…anyone want some wine?" He had completely ignored Deidara's comment.

"Sasori, Danna! It's a miracle, yeah. All those years of childhood, adolescent and adult counseling finally paid off, yeah."

"Yeah, that's nice and everything but HELLO! It's about me now!" itachi demanded his attention back. Lola appeared again dragging a suitcase and a garment bag full of hanging clothes down the stairs.

"Is this everything you're taking?" she asked. Sasori was still a little floored by the fact that he had just declared what was previously safely kept in his mind.

"Um……yeah, that's …everything. Well, except for a carry-on bag.

Seems like things were shaping up to get pretty interesting around the house and abroad…..


	3. Chapter 3 Itachi's Side of the Family

"Oh my god Dana! Okay, so you're going to need….how does that poem thingy go? Something cold….something new….." Marisol thought hard for a moment. "Something ugly and something blue!" She finally decided. "Alright, now for the something cold, I'll be certain you have some frozen yogurt the night before the wedding. The something new…hmm…"

"Marisol! That can be those amazing Dior sunglasses, yeah!"

"You are totally right! Oh, oh! And the something ugly can be Kakuzu!" Marisol said quickly writing that down in her wedding binder.

"KISAME CAN BE THE SOMETHING BLUE!" They both screamed at the same time.

"Okay, okay. Now, Dana we need to think about the time of year to have this wedding." Marisol instructed her.

"Not winter, there's too many things blooming in the spring, the fall totally eliminates 25 percent of style options…..how about summer, yeah!?" Dana suggested, considering it was her only left available option.

"Summer, okay writing that down…" Marisol jotted that down. "Now, have you and Itachi thought about any wedding locations?"

"Hmmmm……there's that amazing hotel in town, you know for kind of a local thing. There's always New York, but that last wedding we went to there didn't go so great so that might be out. There's Lake Tahoe but Itachi says there may be cattle ranchers nearby but one thing we both really like the idea of is a cruise ship wedding…..you know like to the Carribean or something, yeah." Dana said.

"Nice thinking Dana! Nice thinking." Marisol continued writing.

"Now, Marisol the most important thing of all….what are we going to wear, yeah?" Dana wondered.

"Oh my god, I so like have no idea. This is like really tough. Who would have ever thought that planning a wedding would be so tough." Marisol said.

"I know hmmm…." Dana thought a moment. "Marisol we can't have anything boring, dull or like….you know….something that just anyone would buy, yeah." Dana's eyes grew wide, an idea had just popped into her head. "Marisol….we….need……daddy, yeah."

"I'm back! I'm back!" Tobi yelled as he came through the front door with his hands full with a very large box. No one had realized that Tobi had even left in the first place.

"Tobi, seriously where have you been?" Hidan wondered.

"I was just contributing to my part of the wedding!" Tobi said slapping down his big box. Itachi and Deidara looked at the large box wondering what Tobi possibly could have done.

"So…..uh….what is it?" Itachi had to know. Tobi opened up the box and proudly displayed a package of party invitations.

"Tobi, that is a package of Finding Nemo party invitations." Itachi said.

"Don't you worry! The insides of the invitations give you a line to write where the party is held, what time and who it's for!" Tobi said excitedly. "And we won't run out! I bought 27 packages of invitations, there are 8 invitations in each package!" Itachi looked at the happy, smiling bright orange clown fish staring back at him.

"Tobi, I don't think….those will work, seriously. Come on, come with me. We'll take them back to Wal-Mart. Although that was nice of you Tobi." Hidan said leading him towards the door.

"Hey, does this match, I couldn't tell because we have a light bulb out in our closet upstairs."

"Sasori, Danna! What's with the good clothes that are….well…nice, yeah?"

"I told you, me and Lola are going to O'Briens."

"O'Briens!? Oh! I want to go, yeah! Hold on let me get changed…"

"DEIDARA! YOU AREN'T GOING! NOW TELL ME IF THIS MATCHES!"

"But….I want to go…and yes it matches and it looks nice but why can't I go, yeah!?" Deidara whined. Sasori sighed in disgust.

"Did you finish your law school internship? Have you been wanting to go O'Briens for three months? Are you deserving of the celebration of quite possibly one of life's grandest accomplishments that everyone else in this house has ignored? The answer to all of those questions is no and that's just the beginning of my list."

"But…..I'm such good company to have at dinner, yeah."

"Then you and Itachi take your stupid wedding planner and go to KFC." Itachi scolded him. Lola came downstairs. She was ready to leave which thrilled Sasori.

"I swear I wish the plane left tonight." He mumbled to her. And so Sasori and Lola left everyone else to survive the wedding planning phase one.

"Well, you know Itachi we can always order takeout tonight, yeah. Hidan, go get the menu from The Golden Panda let's order some stuff, yeah. MARISOL, DANA! COME DOWN HERE WE'RE ORDERING FOOD FROM THE GOLDEN PANDA, YEAH!" Deidara yelled upstairs.

"Hmmm, did you know that there was a general Tso's chicken combo platter on the dinner menu?" Hidan asked. Unfortunately Kakuzu had recently come to his senses from the extreme blackout he had earlier over the wedding budget. But now he realized what was going on, someone was preparing to order food…..without carefully studying the menu prices.

"Hidan, I'll take the Moo Shoo pork." Kisame said.

"Give me the steamed vegetable and chicken platter, no sauce rice on the side. Hidan, make sure they know to put that damn sauce on the side!" Itachi demanded. Hidan was writing everything down quickly.

"I'll take a pint of white rice." Kakuzu said.

"Bull shit Kakuzu you only do that because it costs 70 cents!"

"So! At least I'm saving money!" Hidan rolled his eyes at Kakuzu's comment.

"Hidan me and Marisol and Dana want the wonton soup, yeah." Deidara said.

"I'll pass man, I think I'll go for something around here tonight." Zetsu answered.

"Alright, Deidara while we're waiting on all that let's think about our guest list." Itachi said.

"Yes! The guest list, okay….now…let's start with your side of the family, yeah. Marisol, Dana help me think, yeah. Okay…Itachi's side of the family...hmmmm…….hmmmmm……." Deidara thought.

"Hmmm….oh hey there's….no, never mind…hmmmm…." Itachi thought.

"Oh! I know….no……not them……hmmmmm….what about……no that won't work….." Dana and Marisol weren't thinking of anyone either.

"How about…..hmmmm….no, no." Itachi said out loud. There was a long period of silence.

"Well, you know there's always Sasuke, yeah!" Deidara finally said.

"Yes, yes, exactly there's always him!" Itachi said. "Write him down for my side of the family." Dana and Marisol agreed quickly.

"Besides, Itachi he's your little brother and even though he has some social issues, a wedding might be good for him, yeah." Dana said.

"Yeah, he really needs to learn how to deal with people, god it's like….it's like someone gave him a hard time or something as a child, you know?" Itachi said.

"But Itachi, I always thought you made Sasuke's life hell when you were younger, yeah?" Itachi huffed impatiently.

"You know what only because he pissed me the hell off every twenty seconds!" Itachi answered angrily.


	4. Chapter 4 More Guests

"When the sun shines we shine together, told you I'd be here forever. Said I'd always be your friend. TOOK AN OATH IM'A STICK IT OUT TILL THEN END. NOW THAT….."

"DEIDARA SHUT THE HELL UP!" Kisame yelled trying to clean in the kitchen.

"But, I love that song, yeah! And besides when Dana and Marisol get back from that bakery, we're going to look at cake brochures and decide which cakes we want to taste and which icings we want to taste, and we get to look at the different decorating options and OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT THIS IS SO MUCH FUN, YEAH!"

"What does any of that have to do with you singing pop songs to me while I'm cleaning this kitchen?" Kisame asked.

"Well, nothing…I just wanted you to know how much fun I was having, yeah. Look! I'm working on a list of potential honeymoon locations, yeah! I have…"

"Deidara, how about you don't read everything you're doing right now and you just tell me when I have to contribute to this wedding." Kisame said.

"Now, Kakuzu you being the uh….money minded man that you are. We're putting you in charge of……ice. You know, for punch." Itachi said. Kakuzu's face lit up.

"Itachi! You can count on me! I will find the best deal on ice ever! I mean it will be such a good price! I'll start calling around today. Hey uh….when do we need this ice for?" Kakuzu asked getting very excited about the ice assignment. Itachi huffed.

"There is no set date yet! Just find out a place that has ice!" Meanwhile at the bakery….

"Dana, did you know there were so many cakes to choose from?" Marisol wondered.

"No, I didn't! Look, there's strawberry cake, lemon, chocolate, butter pecan, traditional white, yellow, raspberry, butterscotch, peanut butter and that's not even counting the frosting options, the cheesecake options or that nifty pie idea, yeah." Dana said.

"So…what should we do? Do you think we should order a sample of everything, you know to be exactly sure what you and Itachi want to do?" Marisol wondered nervously.

"Yes, because what if we don't even have a stupid big cake and instead we have like……374 individual cheesecakes, yeah?"

"Wow Dana! There's going to be 374 people at the wedding?" Marisol asked.

"Well maybe not….there won't be many attending from Itachi's side of the family, yeah." Dana said.

"Okay, so we order a sample of everything so we can be absolutely certain. We'll make Deidara and Itachi taste it all first so that way they can decide which ones are just gross." Marisol said.

"This is such a great idea, yeah! We'll come up the perfect idea for sure!" Dana certainly felt confident about the many many cake samples that would be ordered and then delivered to the house. Of course in the midst of all the planning, nearly everyone else missed Sasori and Lola arriving home later that night.

"Oh my god, you're home. So, is it true do they really have award winning lobster bisque?" Hidan wanted to know.

"Hidan….it's like…..like…..it's so wonderful." Sasori said dreamily.

"And the scampi? Please….Sasori……tell me you tried the scampi." Hidan said becoming a little speechless. Sasori put his hands on Hidan's shoulders.

"Like no other scampi there is. Now, if you don't mind me and Lola need to bring our luggage down here tonight so we aren't rushing around tomorrow." Sasori said leaving Hidan to dream about the fabulous seafood at O'Briens.

"Hey Lola, what season do you think is best for a wedding?" Kisame asked finally finishing the kitchen. Lola laughed.

"No season." She said dryly.

"Lola, have you been drinking….a lot?" Kisame asked.

"No…just…..well…okay how much is a lot according to you?" Lola asked laughing again.

"Well, it's just that you know, you have to have an idea as to what the best season for a wedding would be." Kisame said. Lola laughed again.

"You're just saying that because you know I don't give a shit about weddings." Lola laughed some more.

"Alright, Lola you're going to need some help upstairs." Kisame said getting ready to help her upstairs.

"No I'm not. I'm just fine seriously. You just don't get it that I don't do the whole wedding thing." Lola said as she clearly helped herself up the stairs to complete the packing. Kisame shrugged his shoulders in confusion.

"Deidara! Deidara! I have to show you something!" Tobi yelled running towards Deidara with what appeared to be a construction paper mess. "Sine the Finding Nemo invitations weren't what you wanted; I decided to make the wedding invitations. See, look! I drew a map from our house into town!" Deidara looked at the horrible sloppy, poorly glued together homemade invitation.

"Um, Tobi….have you taken your gummi bear vitamin today, yeah?" Deidara asked trying to sidetrack Tobi. Tobi gasped.

"No I haven't! Oh no, I hope I haven't picked out all the red ones yet!" Tobi rushed into the kitchen to find his vitamins.

"Okay, so anyway Itachi we don't have many people on the guest list as of now. There's of course Kisame, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi with great reluctance, Sasori, Lola, my mom and dad, your brother, Konan, Pein and the Leader, yeah." Deidara said.

"Hey what about Kimimaro? He's a good guy right? I mean sure Orochimaru has said suggestive things to him in the past and yes he did give Orochimaru that 70's slow grooves mix tape…but…I mean come on." Zetsu suggested. Itachi looked disgusted.

"His idea of 'bring an appetizer' was a store bought cheese ball!" Itachi insisted.

"Itachi! It was a last minute party what did you expect him to do?" Zetsu defended him.

"It's lame and tacky and all over distasteful…he didn't even bring crackers with it!" Itachi continued.

"Fine. Hey, what about that uh….shit what's his name…that Suna kid that Sasori knows…you know, the one that supposedly has similar emotional problems that Sasori dealt with?"

"You mean GAARA, yeah." Deidara said not amused. "That little bitch, do you know about him Zetsu? Do you know anything about him? No, you don't, yeah! Or you would remember how he dissed my art when Sasori INSISTED that I enter that art show sponsored by Sunagakure, yeah!"

"Deidara, you made a giant litter box and since that kid has some kind of thing for sand no wonder he wasn't thrilled." Deidara rolled his eyes.

"If you invite him he'll only do that 'love isn't real' mopey thing, yeah."

"Sasori's grandma, seriously." Hidan said out of nowhere.

"Huh?" itachi wondered.

"You need to invite Sasori's grandma. She's old it will be good for her." Hidan insisted.

"SASORI!!!!!!! WE'RE INVITING YOUR GRANDMA TO THE WEDDING WE'RE GOING TO NEED HER MAILING ADDRESS, YEAH!" Deidara yelled up to him. Sasori instantly came flying down the stairs with luggage trailing behind.

"No, no, no, no…no….she's old it won't be good for her. You're not inviting her to the wedding. Oh god….god…I can see it now…I swear if you invite her…there will be hell to pay."

"Okay, so it's obvious Sasori's grandma doesn't know about Lola based on that reaction, let's definitely invite her and make certain the camcorder has a fully charged battery, you know so we can tape her reaction." Kisame said laughing to himself. This could go on all night at this rate. Lola brought her luggage down the stairs and propped it by the door with Sasori's luggage. They were ready to leave the next morning…more than ready to leave.


	5. Tobi Makes a Mess

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naturally, Deidara was on the floor thrashing around blonde hair flying everywhere. If he had been screaming any louder the police would most likely have to get involved.

"OH MY GOD! YOU ARE SUCH A PUSSY! COME ON! STOP FLAILING AROUND AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!!!!!" Itachi screamed back.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO BE A MAN RIGHT NOW, YEAH! NO! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!" Deidara whined.

"DEIDARA! IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP AND PUT THIS IN YOUR MOUTH I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE KISAME MY BEST MAN!" Itachi had lost all patience and the fact that he now had Deidara pinned to the floor wasn't helping anything at all…

"NO ITACHI PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME, YEAH! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT, IT'S GROSS!" Deidara whined some more but he couldn't fight it any longer. Itachi shoved the awful thing in to Deidara's mouth and watched as he screamed with his mouth shut, shoved Itachi off of him and hurriedly spit something into his hand.

"OH MY GOD! ITACHI! ITACHI IT'S TERRIBLE! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE GINGER SNAP CINNAMON CAKE,YEAH! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THAT!" Deidara said nearly in tears over the horrible cake.

"Look dumb ass, Dana and Marisol ordered many samples of cakes and icing combination and you know I despise gingersnap cinnamon and since you are my bitch when it comes to the wedding then…well…you have to do the stuff I don't want." Itachi said rationally. Deidara dried the tears from his eyes after the cake episode.

"Well, I want to try the lemon chiffon cheesecake now…that one looks good, yeah."

"Oh hey guys. Whoa…this is a hell of a lot of cake." Zetsu said passing though the living room noticing the endless cake samples spread out from one end of the table to the other.

"Yeah, Dana and Marisol thought it would be a good idea to make certain we had plenty of options and I have to agree with them. Me and Deidara have already eliminated the Key Lime Pie cheesecake, the Toffee Mocha shit, and this terrible Gingersnap cinnamon." Itachi said crossing out another cake on his list.

"Sweet, can I try that strawberry crème cake?" Zetsu asked.

"Go for it." Itachi told him.

"Look, Kakuzu Itachi told us to look at this guest list and cross off anyone we think would not fit in at the wedding." Hidan instructed as he and Kakuzu looked at the huge guest list.

"All I'm saying is that I don't understand why he and Dana would want to put together a guest list before deciding on a location." Kakuzu said.

"Well you know what, they can't decide on a location they have it now between three choices: The Regatta Hotel and Resort in Baltimore, Martha's Vineyard, or a Caribbean cruise, seriously." Hidan said. "Now, let's start going over this guest list."

"Okay, Itachi put Marisol's dad on here….that will never work because she hasn't spoken to her dad in seven years." Kakuzu said scratching him off the list.

"Good call…I wonder why Deidara didn't catch that? Oh god…here's trouble…Tsunade…now come on can you picture her drinking with Lola….god it would be like….you know let's not go there because it would be so out of control I'm crossing Tsunade off." Hidan said quickly making his editorial moves.

"And we can't have Tayuya on here…I mean she's a complete whore she will try to sleep with Kisame for sure." Kakuzu said.

"You mean like that one time she got really drunk, thought Kisame was hot and tried to make out with him?" Hidan asked.

"Exactly like that time, only this time she would put the moves on…I don't know Deidara's dad or something." So far the list checking was eliminating everyone they saw.

"Seriously, don't know any of these people so I'm guessing that I should leave them on the list." Hidan said. Meanwhile while Tobi was left alone…..

"Tobi….what the hell are you doing?" Kisame asked finding Tobi sitting in the middle of the floor with a mess of glitter, glue and ribbons around him.

"I decided to make an extra special wedding invitation for the leader! I know how much he likes purple glitter!" Tobi said very pleased with himself. Kisame sighed.

"Tobi….you're making a huge mess and the whole purple glitter thing was a total joke…we were making fun of Orochimaru. Now come on, let's get this cleaned up." Kisame instructed.

"Hey did anyone know that Lola and Sasori weren't here? Marisol asked wandering into the kitchen with her arms piled with laundry. The pile buried her tiny body.

"Oh yeah, that's right there was some kind of note…uh…something like went to the airport be back Sunday….uh…something about not touching the wine fridge." Itachi mumbled.

"Hey, Itachi so how's the cake tasting going?" Marisol asked from behind the mountain of laundry.

"Oh my god! You should never have to carry all that laundry, yeah! Oh my god give me that right now!" Deidara panicked because no one had rushed to help Marisol.

"Marisol, we are really liking the cheesecake idea. Some of these cheesecakes are like…..sex good….okay well maybe not that good…..but these cheesecakes are kicking the other cakes asses." Itachi told her.

"Oh good because Dana really liked the white royal cheesecake." Marisol told him.

"Hey, where is she anyway? And have you two talked about flowers?" Itachi wanted to know.

"No we haven't and Dana is at the dance studio right now. She'll be home in a couple of hours." Marisol said starting to fold clothes.

"KAKUZU FOR THE LAST TIME! NO! WE ARE NOT TAKING DEIDARA'S MOM OFF THE GUEST LIST! SHE'S THE FUCKING MOTHER OF THE BRIDE!" Hidan screamed.

"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT! THEN I'M ONT GOING TO THE WEDDING BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE DEIDARA'S MOM!"

"THE ONLY REASON YOU CAN'T HANDLE HER IS BECAUSE YOU THINK SHE'S BEAUTIFUL FOR HER AGE!" Kakuzu gasped.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK! TAKE IT BACK NOW! THAT IS NOT TRUE!"

"THEN DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT DEIDARA'S MOM IS GOING TO BE AT THIS WEDDING WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" Hidan had officially lost all patience and Kisame had completely cleaned up Tobi's mess.

Hey everyone! Sorry for the slow update and sorry this is a short chapter. This has been an incredibly busy and stressful week. Plan on the next chapter being longer.


	6. Chapter 6 The Sateillite Dish

"Marisoooooollllll! Oh Maaaaaaaarisooooollllll!! Marisol Isabella-Elenaaaaaaaa! MARISOL!" Deidara continued yelling.

"Hey she's in the….oh my …..what is that?" Tobi asked.

"Sssshhhhh… I don't want her to know…it's a kitty! A little Himalayan kitty, yeah!" Deidaracould hardly contain himself. "OH MY GOD ISN'T SHE JUST SO SO SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUTE, YEAH!" he shouted after telling Tobi to be quiet.

"It's just a baby….awwwwww….do we get to keep her!?" Tobi asked reaching for the kitten but Deidara refused to give her up.

"No, it's for Marisol, Tobi, yeah."

"Okay, Deidara I was thinking about the flowers and……oh my god is that a cat?" Itachi stared at the fuzzy little bundle Deidara held.

"Well, yeah you see, I decided that with all this wedding planning and the whole Lola graduating or whatever…Marisol just wasn't getting enough attention, yeah. So I got what she's wanted for like…..ever…..this fuzzy kitty, yeah!" Deidara was so thrilled. Kisame, who had just gotten in on the end of this conversation sighed.

"It's a good thing Marisol is too stupid to realize that she's totally spoiled." He mumbled to himself.

"Whatever, put that thing down. Marisol is in the shower and you have to help me think about table decorations." Itachi said.

"But Itachi, look at her! She's so fluffy and tiny and cuuuuuuute, yeah."

"Oh my god, you're going to give me a migraine….you and Marisol can play with the cat all evening…for now just HELP ME WITH THE FLOWERS!" Itachi was losing patience quickly.

"Fine, let me put her in this adorable little pet fence, yeah." Deidara was disappointed but he knew Itachi needed all his expert advice and the truth was that neither Itachi nor Dana had completely made up their minds about any aspect of this wedding. "Um, Itachi don't you think you and Dana should get together and decide on the location of the wedding before you try to pick out flowers, yeah?" Deidara asked sitting down at the living room table with Itachi.

"Don't interrupt me! I was thinking! No! We don't have to decide on the location first!" Itachi hissed.

"Alright, so seriously I'm thinking if I get to be in charge of the religious aspects of the wedding maybe I could get some elite Jasshin follows to show up for the ceremony…you know to make it extra special." Hidan jotted that idea down. Kakuzu just stared at him.

"You are so full of shit!"

"What the hell!? I'm just trying to come up with some nice ideas! You're the dumbass fuck when it comes to accepting my ideas!"

"Well, maybe I would accept them if they didn't ALWAYS involve religion! That's all there is with you!"

"You know what dumb ass….religion is much better than obsessing over money constantly!"

"I don't obsess!" Kakuzu argued.

"All you do is obsess! God! Like that time you wouldn't buy your mom a Christmas card because you said you didn't want to get change for five dollars! That's lame Kakuzu!"

"Oh shut up! It was not like that!" Kakuzu argued.

"Whatever, seriously." Hidan said not providing anymore input. Meanwhile, outside Kisame and Zetsu were trying to install a 'do it yourself in 5 easy steps' satellite TV system. It was the leader's idea Pein had installed one and now Kisame was on the roof and Zetsu was screaming instructions up to him.

"ALRIGHT KISAME….NOW ROTATE THE DISH 4 DEGREES TO THE LEFT!"

"BUT ZETSU, THE BOLTS ARE LOOSE! THROW THAT HAMMER AND THAT SCREWDRIVER UP HERE!"

"IT'S OKAY KISAME, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LOOSE AT THE BASE, JUST ROTATE THE DISH!" Zetsu yelled.

"OKAY, HERE IT GOES!" Kisame started twisting the dish. "WHOA! ZETSU, THE CABLE CONNECTION JUST WENT FALLING OFF THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE!"

"HOLD ON I'LL GET IT!" Zetsu walked around the house to hunt for the long piece of cable that Kisame had dropped. "OKAY, KISAME…..I FOUND IT! NOW THROW ME YOUR GIANT SWORD SO I CAN WRAP THE CABLE AROUND IT ND HAND IT BACK TO YOU!"

"HEY DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD JUST GIVE UP ON THIS STUPID THING? IT HASN'T BEEN FIVE EASY STEPS!" Kisame asked skeptically.

"NO, NO, LE'TS JUST TRY THIS MOVING THE DISH FOUR DEGREES STEP AND IF IT DOESN'T' WORK WE'LL SELL IT ON EBAY!" Zetsu reassured him passing the cable back up with the huge chakra shredding sword. Kisame took the cable and reattached it.

"OKAY! HERE IT GOES! I'M GOING TO MOVE THE DISH!" Kisame started to wiggle the dish around… "SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"UM…..KISAME…..WAS THAT A SPLASH I HEARD?"

"YES….IT WAS….I DROPPED THE DISH INTO THE POOL….I'M GETTING OFF THE ROOF." Sure enough the satellite when clunking down the roof and into the pool.

"My god Deidara! You're supposed to be helping me! No one in their right mind would want sunflowers at their wedding! God! THINK!"

"Itachi, you said roses were too cliché, carnations reminded you of old people, lilies smelled like a funeral home, hibiscus attracted too many bees, and tulips were too babyfied, yeah! Now what more do I have to work with!" Deidara was not happy with Itachi….but he was thrilled with the kitty playing pleasantly. Itachi shook his head in disgust.

"I'm calling Sasori…he hasn't done much to help plan this wedding." Itachi said angrily grabbing a phone. It rang a couple of times.

"Lola, you were right….your boobs aren't going to go in that dress at all."

"I know! I tried to tell you that BEFORE I got stuck in the zipper! Now help me get out of this thing before I run out of time."

"Hello?" Sasori finally answered the phone.

"Should I even ask what the hell you're doing?"

"Well, I was wrong see Lola's mom ordered this dress for the post graduation dinner cruise and she ordered it two sizes to small and well the bottom of her fit in it…but the top of her didn't and now I've got her stuck in it…what the hell do you want anyway. I am very busy right now we have to leave the hotel in 30 minutes and I have to get Lola out of this dress."

"If you were planning a wedding, which you're not and you were sexy, which you aren't what kind of flowers would you choose for the table center pieces?

"Cactuses." Sasori said dryly.

"You answer me seriously!" Itachi said getting all huffy.

"Okay, okay….lady slippers…those are very delicate flowers.

"God, you suck ass! Those are so stupid! Get Lola's fat ass out of that dress that she can't wear because she isn't a size 2!" Itachi hung the phone up angrily.

"Oh that little prick is going to pay for that later…." Sasori whispered to his cell phone. While Itachi threw his fit, Marisol had completed her shower and now she and Dana were coming downstairs.

"Marisol! Marisol look, yeah! Dediara scooped the kitten up and shoved her toward Marisol. Naturally, her face lit up like the sun.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD A KITTY! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ON OF THESE KIND! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Deidara put the kitten in her arms. "Ooooooooooooh, I'm going to name her PRINCESS!"

"Come on let's take her upstairs, yeah! I'll show you all the kitty accessories I got for her today, yeah."

"Any luck with the flowers, yeah?" Dana asked Itachi.

"None. We have to decide something….anything….even if it's what time we're going to wake up on the wedding day." Dana agreed with this because so far they hadn't made much progress.

"Let's pick a location, yeah!" Dana suggested.

"Okay, yes! Location! You know I think I really like the idea of the whole cruise ship thing." Itachi said.

"Oh yeah? Well, then lets do that! To the Caribbean, yeah!" Dana said.

"Okay, I'm penciling that in this binder as a for sure. Caribbean cruise line!"

"Yay! Itachi we made some progress!" Ah yes, it seems as though this was a start for a decisive wedding plan.


	7. Chapter 7 Stop Hanging Up!

"And you're cuuuuuute, and you're cuddly, and you're so fuzzy-wuzzy yes you are!"

"Marisol, you've been talking to that kitty for 2 hours. We really need to decide on appetizers, salads, entrees, and deserts for the wedding, yeah." Dana said.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Dana really I am…it's just that….she's just so precious." Marisol said leaving the new kitten alone long enough to focus on Dana. "It's okay. I was thinking you know some kind of entrée that won't make me feel like a fat ass later, yeah. You know like…..filet mignon or something."

"That's a good idea." Marisol said.

"What!? What the hell do you want! Oh my god would you stop calling me!" Sasori screamed into the phone. Itachi had called him now for the 14th time…Sasori was not pleased.

"Where are you?"

"I'm in the middle of Boston at Lola's grad….wait why does that matter!"

"Yeah, whatever…okay so….for my wedding I'm going to need to know exactly what Lola is going to wear because those suits of hers just aren't going t cut it. By the way what do you intend on wearing?" There was complete silence on the other end. "Sasori? Sasori?" Itachi gasped and looked at the phone.

"Deidara! That bastard hung up on me again! Oh, I will show him….he thinks Lola is more important than me…..oh…..that……Sasori! Don't you hang……DAMN IT! Deidara! Sasori keeps hanging up on me!" Itachi ranted.

"Okay, Itachi...you've been somewhat of a bitch for the past 37 minutes, yeah. Can you…maybe not be….do you need some more medication?" Deidara asked calmly.

"I am NOT a bitch! It's just that I want what I want when I want it….and stupid Sasori isn't cooperating! Just for that…I'm inviting his grandma to the wedding." Itachi said adding her name to the guest list. "Oh and here, read over this. I'm thinking of writing this on Sasuke's invitation when Dana and I actually pick out invitations." Itachi handed a piece of paper to Deidara.

" Itachi, you wrote I hate you and your clothes suck but come to my wedding so I can upstage you…Love Itachi…." Deidara paused. "I think that will work, yeah." Itachi shook his head in agreement. Meanwhile, back upstairs….

"Oh my god! Marisol! I found THE shoes….the shoes that I just MUST have for the wedding…look, look, yeah." Dana showed Marisol the much wanted shoes.

Dana! Those are like so incredibly perfect!" Marisol said. "But are you going to buy them before you buy your dress?"

"Yes! It's all about the shoes Marisol and so I'm going to get these before I even think about a dress, yeah!" Dana was so excited.

"Okay! Well, when do we get to go look at them and totally try stuff on?" Marisol wondered.

"We should wait for Lola. She could use that kind of….you know high heel advice, yeah." Dana said.

"Speaking of Lola…isn't she and Sasori coming back tomorrow?" Marisol wondered.

"Hmmm….I don't know…I didn't even know they left until like…..2 hours ago, yeah." Dana said. Meanwhile in another room Kisame and Zetsu were trying to forget about the previous satellite dish incident while entertaining Tobi. However, Hidan and Kakuzu were having an argument about what the majority of the population preferred: pizza or cheeseburgers….now they just HAD to know which one of them was right.

"Okay, Zetsu Hidan is being a moron and he's saying the majority of the public prefer cheeseburgers and I'm trying to tell him that he's a stupid ass! The majority of the public prefer pizza!" Kakuzu said angrily.

"No! Tell that stupid ass fool that he is full of shit! My god, seriously….that's not right Kakuzu! Some people are lactose intolerant….they can't eat cheese!"

"Oh of all the lame ass comments Hidan! Cheeseburgers?! What the hell do you think is on cheeseburgers!" Kakuzu yelled. Kisame appeared in deep thought and so he was kind of ignoring this whole argument.

"You know….I just thought of something…..and I have idea why I didn't think of this sooner…." Kisame began completely disregarding Hidan and Kakuzu's argument. "Sasori and Lola went to Massachusetts…..alone." Kisame stopped there.

"O……K……" Zetsu answered.

"For three days…they are in Massachusetts for three days alone……in a hotel….." Kisame paused again.

"O…..K….." Zetsu answered again.

"Sasori likes to bet on other people's misery……so I'm going to bet on his…." Kisame paused again. "Forty bucks says Lola comes back pregnant. No one said anything for a while.

"Oh I am so in!" Kakuzu jumped in eagerly.

"Yeah, sure why not." Hidan agreed.

"God, that would be the ultimate kick in the ass for him…..he's 42 years old….he would be 52 when his kid was 10…..okay, okay I'll bet on that….it's just….god it would be his luck. He finally gets his life straightened out and BAM. " Zetsu said.

"I don't get it……" Tobi finally added.

"Oh we are going to make so much money off this deal!" Kakuzu was nearly foaming at the mouth.

"No! No! No! No! No! Do you not get it Deidara!? Do you not understand that I am not going to wear some stupid ass outfit that everyone else would wear to a wedding! This is MY WEDDING! It's going to be in the Caribbean! I WON'T WEAR THAT!"

"Okay, Itachi you really shouldn't yell with a new kitten in the house, yeah. It might be harmful to her little view of the world, yeah." Itachi stared angrily at Deidara, so angrily in fact that he almost launched Deidara into a good dose of 72 hours of pain.

"Are you trying to tell me….are….are you saying that….that you care about that cat more than you care….about ME!? ME? Who has been like….oh I don't know….you're very best friend since I knew I wanted to bang your sister!!!!!!!! My god Deidara! You're putting a cat before me! What about all the good times huh? The clearance sales? The very many parties we've had were we have gotten laid on more than 5 occasions? Huh? What about 'the book'? Huh? You know….'the book' the one that is going to be passed on before my wedding? SO WHAT DEIDARA YOU'RE PUTTING AN ANIMAL BEFORE ME? WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU!?"

"Um….Itachi….I never said that I was putting our friendship before our new kitten. Oh, her name is Princess by the way, yeah. We're going to pass along 'the book' and I've never forgotten about that one time we drank waaaaaaay too much at Dana's graduation party and……you know let's just not even relive that, yeah. That was just a bad night I don't think I've ever smelled so badly, yeah."

"That was a bad night, a very, very bad night. I have never ever made out with a girl who wears clothes from the GAP since that night."

"Yeah."

"Yeah." Both of them shook their heads in agreement. After answering in unison.

"Okay, so…..back to what I'm going to wear, you know Dolce and Gabbana spring line will be out before the date we have planned for the wedding." Itachi said.

"Oh my god! I can't wait for the spring line, yeah. You know I really wish we'd change up our robes, you know? Can you imagine how many way nicer clothes the leader could have picked out for us…..but no, yeah! He got the robes on sale at JCPenny as a discontinued item, yeah. Apparently they weren't a very good seller, yeah." Deidara said.

"Hmmm….maybe it was the matching hats…they are hard to see out of." Itachi added.

"Hey, won't don't you call Sasori and see if he'll pick up now, yeah. Maybe he wont' be pissed….wait! Better yet, here let me call, yeah." Deidara took the phone from Itachi.

"Dannaaaaaaaaaa! No, no, no! Don't hang up, yeah! It's me it's not Itachi."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE WANT! OH MY GOD! I GO TO MASSACHUSETTS TO BE WITH LOLA AND YOU PEOPLE CAN'T LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE FOR MORE THAN 17 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TRYING TO FIND THE PERFECT OPPROTUNITY TO TELL HER I LOVE HER! Oh shit……I think she just completely overheard that….." Sasori hung up the phone.

"You know……I don't think this is the best time for Sasori, yeah. Maybe we won't' want to talk to him anymore today….or maybe the next couple days." Deidara said hurriedly giving the phone back to Itachi.


	8. Chapter 8 And They're Back

"Hey, we're back!" Sasori said stumbling through the front door. He continued into the house realizing that no one was answering. "And no one cares…" He said out loud.

"Go, go, go, go!" Zetsu whispered hastily to Hidan as the two of them bolted for the staircase to greet Sasori and Lola. Lola came in the front door behind Sasori with her hands full with two suitcases and a carry on bag. Zetsu elbowed Hidan in the ribs. Hidan quickly cleared his throat.

"Uhhh, hh…hey… Lola….how….how was the trip?"

"It was great, it was really great you know? My god I never thought I would see the day…but 200 graduated later here I am! Lola M. Aagard Attorney at Law." Lola said smiling all over.

"Yeah, we had a wonderful time. It was amazing. Massachusetts is beautiful." Sasori added.

"So Lola, do you feel sick?" Zetsu asked out of nowhere.

"Yeah, or…..like you're going to throw up?

"Oh! Lola! Have you gained weight?" It was all Zetsu could think of.

"Or maybe you're feeling overly emotional and…….emotional." Hidan said. At this point Lola had a very odd look on her face. The look on Sasori's face wasn't any less confused.

"What the hell?" Lola asked.

"Oh nothing, nothing. We….you know…..just know how…..flights can be…..seriously." Hidan said nervously.

"Oh…Well we're fine I mean……oooooh my god….what the hell is that!? Is that a cat?" Lola asked seeing the precious kitten bobble its way down the stairs. What no one knew was that Lola was highly allergic to cats.

"We go away for 3 days….and a cat appears here?" Sasori asked less than thrilled over this matter. "Do you realize how allergic Lola is to cats?! If I were to guess I'd say Deidara was involved in this….judging by the pink bow in it's fur and the fact that it just looks high maintenance. "Sasori said.

"Shit, I am going to do nothing but sneeze and have watery eyes for the next 72 hours!" Lola said rather upset.

"Are you sure you're going to sneeze and have watery eyes Lola or are you going to…..say……need to check the calendar to see if you've missed your period?" Zetsu asked trying to help Lola into the kitchen where the calendar was plastered on the fridge.

"What the hell is going on here? There's a damn cat in here and now you're concerned about whether or not I'm late….." Lola paused a moment. "You're weird today." Lola said narrowing her eyes and heading upstairs dodging the furry nightmare on the staircase. Sasori glared at Hidan.

"Did you two bet that Lola would come back pregnant?" he asked.

"Uh……..why would you every think that, seriously?" Hidan asked innocently.

"You dumbasses. Lola's doctor diagnosed her as infertile when she was 14 years old." Sasori said rolling his eyes. "Now, we need to go unpack. And tell Deidara to do something with this cat." Sasori disappearing upstairs. Hidan looked at Zetsu and sighed.

"You know, when he met Lola….he just had to introduce her as 'this is Lola she is working on her second Ph.D'…..he couldn't have said 'this is Lola she can't get pregnant'. Damn it! Now we owe Tobi a trip to the McDonalds PlayPlace and Kisame 80 dollars!" Hidan said.

"Oh good, you're home." Itachi said frantically running back and forth upstairs. He was talking….well…yelling at someone on his cell phone. But he was currently on hold and so now he could yell at Sasori. "Alright, Dana and I have actually gotten a lot done with this wedding. It's going to be on a cruise liner in the Caribbean. Now, what I must know from you is what your budget is for clothes for the ceremony because god only knows you can't wear anything you have. Oh, same goes for Lola, that crap that she wears won't cut it." Itachi tapped a pen on the door frame anxiously awaiting an answer. Sasori had a death stare on his face. He said nothing and closed the bedroom door in Itachi's face. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh…you…you did NOT just do that you stupid red headed ass! Sasori! Sasori open this door NOW! This is my wedding! I will not have you looking like you're going to the grocery store! Do you hear me!" Itachi was being completely ignored and he most certainly didn't like it.

"Dana! We have forgotten a very important element to your wedding….girls night out…you know when you and me and Lola and….well maybe some other girls that we like all go out and party like crazy before the wedding!? We so have to do that…we could….get really wild and have the full fat appetizers from Outback." Marisol said.

"Oh my god….you mean…..the Awesome Blossom, yeah?" Dana said with wide eyes.

"Yes." Marisol answered.

"Oh we are so doing that, yeah!" Dana said.

"So…..you're a …..kitten…..oh god why are you looking up at me like that." Kakuzu was uncomfortable with Marisol's new kitten staring at him with it's huge cutsie blue eyes. "Stop….stop it…don't follow me…I'll be forced to pet you….oooooh……" Kakuzu reached down and very carefully pet the tiny kitten. He listened as she purred like crazy.

"Deidara! Deidara! Sasori's an ass, here get on the phone and tell the leader that me and Dana have set a date…..June 23." Itachi said shoving the phone toward Deidara. It seemed as though Dana and itachi had made a lot of progress. But would this wedding actually ever pull together?

Hey Everyone!!! I know you probably think I've dropped off the planet. I've had a recent family emergency that limited my computer access majorly for the past 2 weeks or so. Sorry that it took me so long to finish this story. I wanted to end it so I could begin the next wild installment…. Akatsuki Viva Las Vegas! Look for the first chapter very soon.


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